What We Do

Ethical Evil is an oxymoron, of course, and the purpose of this academy is not to teach you how to become a hero (although I'm sure you'll find some sort of instruction on that. It's a more more socially acceptable subject).

Nonetheless, every person has boundaries, whether we realize them or not. There's always a line that we will not cross, and this line is individual for each person.

I am speaking of the fabled Code.

A personal code is a man's (man here referring not to a human of the male gender but the race of man. Go read LOTR) greatest strength.

The purpose of this lesson is not to teach you how to become a hero; and nor is it how to develop your personal values.

This lesson is on how to exploit other people's.

This does not necessarily involve sacrificing your own personal ethical beliefs (if it does, you're in the wrong line of work), and it is a necessary part of staying alive and best serving your Overlord. The ability to manipulate other people's feelings and emotions is best suited to those of you not following, say, the hulking thug line of work, but even then, it is a good thing to be capable of.

For example, dealing with the hero is much easier if you have captured, say, an innocent child from the neighboring village.

Headmistress note: In case you're worried about violating your own personal code and dislike kidnapping small children, giving them five dollars and a handful of candy in exchange for sitting at the Overlord's feet looking scared is always an acceptable option. With a large enough budget, bribing the parents to scream "Not my baby!" or something similar at the hero while chained to the wall is also worthwhile.

Because the hero will probably not be able to rationalize the logical thought process that saving the entire human race is worth more than one family, he will usually accept the fact that there is nothing he can do and either flee or allow himself to be captured (or possibly try to rescue the family. This is an excellent time to let the troops practice their marksmanship).

And on that rather short lesson, I bid you adieu for the time. Please bear in mind that, with some luck, lessons should increase sometime in October. As I've said before, I would apologize for my lateness, but I really don't care.

When to Run Away

This post is interesting, since I don't have too much experience with running away. I don't mean to say that as a boast; in fact, cowardice is almost expected from minions. No, running away can often be the best solution to a bad situation.

That's why you need to make sure your minion shoes - whether they be part of your uniform, or of your own choosing - have very good grip, are not to burdensome, and will not sound too loud if you are fleeing into a forest.

One of the things I suggest is to never look back over your shoulder. This will slow you down. However, you think you are right about to be overtaken, a quick glance could give you that extra jolt of adrenaline you need to survive.



There are many reasons you may need to run. The classic is this:

Your Overlord has sent you to collect something or assassinate someone. You and your party have just settled down for the night. You've generously volunteered (ie, been forced) to take first watch.

Something rustles in the bushes.

Now, not being a complete idiot, you decide not to go and investigate. But what do you do? Waking your party up for a rabbit seems a bit daft. And there's no surer way to get killed than to show weakness or bad judgement.

That's when the ambush springs.

If your troops appear to be winning, it's important to be in the middle of the fight. You might even want to allow yourself to sustain a few light injuries - nothing movement-impairing - and pant a lot. But if, more likely, the ambush is successful and most of your men are killed in their sleep-befuddled state (NEVER allow them to become befuddled by other things. Drinking on duty is a terrible thing) then you'll want to flee into the darkness. You can return later to see what the damage was.

Now some of you may be asking, "Isn't this a bad idea? Running into the woods at night with no clue where you are?" Others, still, might want to know, "Isn't this a little too spineless? Shouldn't I rely more on my men?"

Excuse me while I hide a small and polite laugh behind my black-lace handkerchief and mark you on my "execute promptly" list. This is the kind of thinking that will get you killed.

Another situation you might find yourself in: What if the Overlord is right there in front of you? Perhaps in a face-off with the hero? The odds are in the hero's favor, and your survival isn't looking good. Worst of all, the comic relief or heroic sidekick is sizing you up (and vice versa).

Run.

Don't expect the villain to forget you running, but trust me, it's not worth sticking around. You can find an new Overlord, or become a shoemaker or a postman. It's better than getting killed and watching the Overlord step over your body as he incinerates the hero.

Another thing to consider is returning later on. The Overlord often will accept you back (with considerably less trust, of course) and life will continue on as normal in the black fortress of doom.

Or you'll die. That happens sometimes too.

If you need to, get out of the country. Cross an ocean, do whatever you need to in order to get out of there. Because sometimes groveling just doesn't work, and you're going to need all the time you can get in order to flee the Overlord's wrath.

~Headmistress Darke